A Tribute to a Life Well-Lived

Diane's family asked me to share the eulogy at my Father-in-Law's funeral. I was both honored and humbled. Here is what I wrote and spoke:

Eulogy

Finley Van Scyoc

At the end of Stephen Spielberg’s epic movie, “Saving Private Ryan,” Private Ryan, now an elderly World War II veteran, standing before the grave of the one who saved his life, turns to his wife and pleads with her, “Tell me I am a good man; tell me I am a good man.” All decent men long to hear that from those closest to them. “Finley Van Scyoc, we your family and your friends are here to tell the world that you were and are a good man.”

Finley was born on July 2, 1923 in Enid to Finley and Virginia (Frazier) Van Scyoc. He entered his eternal home with his Savior Jesus Christ on July 31, 2010 after a six month battle with cancer. Finley graduated from Enid High School with the class of 1941, then enlisted in the army shortly after the Pearl Harbor attack. He served 32 months in Europe during World War II with the U.S. Infantry, 3rd Division in the G-2 section. He returned home in December 1945. Finley worked for Oklahoma Gas and Electric for 38 years, ending his career as the Credit Manager.

He celebrated his return home from the war by marrying his sweetheart, Dorothy Astley, on December 22, 1946. Finley and Dorothy displayed their faith in Jesus Christ by building a godly, loving marriage that lasted 63 years. Finley also invested his life in First Baptist Church, of which he was a cradle to grave member. Finley served as usher and deacon, and in his retirement years sustained a ministry to shut-ins. His hobbies included an immaculate yard and equally magnificent refurbished furniture.

Finley was preceded in death by his parents. He is survived by his wife, Dorothy, his four children: Cathy (Jim) Gantenbein of Bremerton, WA; Susan (Brent) Ballweg of Choctaw OK; Diane (Tom) Schenk of Moriarty NM; Huck (Tammie) Van Scyoc of Nashville, AR, nine grandchildren and four great grandchildren.

Those are the facts of Dad’s life, but they are NOT the substance. On behalf of the family let me share the substance. Dad was loyal, trustworthy, faithful. One town, one church, one house, one wife, many friends, for life. If you go into dad’s garage, you will see a conglomeration of tools, nearly all of them old. It’s not that Dad didn’t believe in new things. He just didn’t find many of them necessary. He would fix the old. I purchased a big garden tiller around 1985. When Diane and I moved to Pittsburgh in 1991, we found we couldn’t grow an extensive garden, so I lent the tiller to Dad for his use. He used it every year since, including 2010. Now he gives it back, still running like a top. That was Dad. Faithful to people; fixing things. He kept things running and working as long as he could.

Dad was a servant. You couldn’t outserve Dad. The picture that epitomizes Dad’s servant heart was washing dishes. Dad figured if mom did the cooking (he never was too good at that), he could do the washing. Dad would arrange his vacation based on which child needed his help the most. If you had a big project, Dad would travel cross country to help. That’s, of course, why his church made him both an usher and a deacon.

Dad was hospitable to the core. Cathy wrote, “The number of people Mom and Dad have welcomed into their home and helped in one way or another are too many to count. Always ready to help/minister to the people God placed in their path.” It has only been in the last few years that Dad locked his front door. One night when Mom and he were sleeping they were startled awake by a shadowy figure at the foot of their bed. “What the **** are you doing?” Dad exclaimed. Dad didn’t often use colorful language, but that was an appropriate moment. Turns out that it was a distraught young woman who entered their house by happenstance—actually by God’s design. Dad and Mom got up and took care of her needs.

Huck used this passage from Ecclesiastes 5 to describe his father. Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 (NIV) Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him--for this is his lot.
¹⁹ Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God. ²⁰ He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart. Dad was glad with his lot in life. He worked hard with what God gave him. That was never much, but Dad used well what God did give him. His grandson calls him the original Dave Ramsey. As a result God did what He promised. He multiplied the little into enough for Dad to be very generous toward others and to take care of Mom for as long as she lives.

Susan and Diane would use the following verse to describe their father. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Dad was the most supportive father and grandfather, I have ever seen. He would spare no time or treasure to be present at any activities in which his children were engaged—from concerts to recitals to building projects to church services. If his kids were involved, Dad was there. All the kids would say it was almost embarrassing to be with Dad in a crowd, because he would brag on them so much. All the kids had different gifts and interests. Dad was proud of every one.

All of this to say that Dad through word and deed showed his family, friends, and community what a Christ-follower is. He was a man of faith in Christ. Dad was a good man, but he was not a perfect man. He knew it and we did too. He trusted Christ for and received from Him forgiveness of his sins. The grace he received from Christ made him gracious towards others. I above all needed that from him. And I received it abundantly. I will never forget his undeserved kindness toward me. The other night when I was up late with Dad along with Susan, Brent, and Diane, he awoke with a start and told all of us to go to bed. He didn’t want to be a bother. But I told him, “Dad, you didn’t kick me out of your house when I deserved it long ago, so you are not getting rid of me so easily now.” He flickered a smile, squeezed my hand, and went back to sleep.

I close with one final picture that I heard last night for the first time. Kris (Goodman) Rogers is a close family friend, like another daughter. It was by God’s grace that Kris was one of Dad’s nurses in the final stage of his life journey. Kris told this story. At a FBC church service, Christ called out to Kris, 3^rd grader at the time. She heard his voice and accepted his offer of salvation, coming forward in the service. Dad was the deacon at the front that service. When she came to him, he lifted Kris over his head and said, “I am so proud of you.” That sums up Dad.

Yes, Dad you were a good man, for two reasons: You were wise enough to receive God’s grace through Christ and to follow Him well for the remainder of your days, living an authentically Christ-like life before all who knew you. And I believe as you entered heaven last Saturday, Jesus enfolded you in his arms and said, “Finley, I am so proud of you.”